I am not in good mood this few days. Even though I have resigned from the audit line but not feeling excited at all. I feel liked i am going to face all the challenge coming in the future that act conversely to what I have expected. I feel stressful, in my coming job arrangement, from my client, and my financial support. I know that is always need to get someone to be my audience, but the one I wish to have is never come to me and not even let me to go to him. I'm desperate, feeling bad, and damn down as I'm reluctant to admit what the person he is becoming now whose is totally different to the one I knew since 7 years ago.
In some aspect, I'm satisfied, as I'm on the way go to my goal. To have our own firm and become a professional accountant. In some aspect, I'm satisfied, as I'm getting married with my love one. However, in another aspect, when things come together it might not caused a more wonderful result but it to create the crush and make everything downturn. I'm having a firm soon as so I'm fighting now but I'm lonely when walking along the way. I'm getting married, but my husband treat me as a burden instead of a lover. What is marriage meaning? When decided to stay with the one you love with your whole life, it's a ceremony to be held so called wedding. This wedding called as a good dream at the beginning, but always it's become a nightmare at the end. When wake up from the nightmare, should everything be stopped? How to stop it? with a cancellation? or with a comfortable communication?
I can't figure out the problem between us. It's about money? Or personality? I believe everything can be solve as long as we are still in love with each other. I'm trying, and doing the best. But sometimes, reality can kill people's passion, when you saw your effort was being ignored instead of being absorbed. I'm tired and lost. I lost my way. I lost the way to go to you. As you are running too fast and too sudden to another direction. Since from someday, I could only can see your shadow, but the face never turn back to see where I am.
I'm trying to be silent, I wish a find a right way to go.
